Getting support through your child's school

Start with the staff whose role is to support pupils day to day. That might be a pastoral lead, a year tutor or a family liaison officer. They are normally the easiest people to reach for an informal conversation and a first plan.

The designated safeguarding lead or DSL is the person who deals with immediate child protection concerns. If you have any worry that a child is at risk, speak to the DSL as soon as you can.

The SENCO is the special educational needs coordinator. The SENCO coordinates additional learning support, liaises with parents and external services, and can explain whether an assessment or an Education, Health and Care plan is appropriate.

Some schools have a counsellor, counselling service or access to a school nurse. These staff may offer short-term support and advice about coping or behaviour in school. They also help staff understand what adjustments might be needed in class or at break times.

Ask the school what the counselling offer looks like, how long sessions typically run for and whether parents need to give consent before a pupil is seen. Keep in mind that the directory on this site lists counsellors who work with adults aged 18 and over. The directory does not arrange support for children or teenagers.

Before a meeting gather the basics: dates and brief notes about the concerns, who has been involved so far and any letters or emails from other professionals. Bring a short list of the practical questions you need answered, for example who will lead any plan and how the school will record actions.

Keep notes during the meeting and ask for a written summary afterwards. If you do not understand a phrase or a recommendation, ask for it to be put in plain language. It is reasonable to ask where responsibility lies for next steps and for timescales to be made explicit.

Schools have a duty to protect pupils. That means staff must follow safeguarding procedures when there are concerns about harm. If safeguarding processes are needed, staff will explain what happens next and who is involved.

Ask the school how they handle consent and information sharing. There are limits to what staff can keep private when a child is at risk. If you are the parent or carer, ask how the school will involve you and what will be put on the childs record.

Where a school identifies needs beyond what it can provide, staff may suggest referring to specialist services for children and young people. The school can explain the local pathways and the usual steps for a referral, including who will complete the referral and whether you will be asked to contribute information.

If you are arranging support for an adult family member, the counselling directory on this site lists practitioners who work with adults aged 18 and over. See the site pages /articles/ for guidance on using the directory and /about/ for how the directory is organised. The directory does not certify or rank practitioners; use the information given to compare their training and areas of experience and to contact them directly.

Plan one or two clear aims for each meeting. That keeps discussions focused and makes it easier to check whether an action has happened. Ask for dates for review meetings and a named contact who will be the point of follow up.

If you have asked for an assessment or a referral, keep a record of when the request was made and what response you were given. If a plan is agreed, ask how you will be kept informed and what you should do if you think things are not moving forward.

If at any point you are worried the child is in immediate danger or at risk of serious harm, contact the schools DSL right away. For immediate emergencies call 999. If you or someone else needs to speak to someone urgently about distress, you can call Samaritans on 116 123. This information is not advice or diagnosis; a clinician who is actually talking to you is the person who can say.